Brian does pretty much everything right — he’s brilliant, funny, has fantastic taste in wine, can navigate his way around a foreign city as if he’s lived there his entire life, can talk politics, business and the latest video game technology with ease, and he somehow knows how to speak the language of computers in a way that makes them gently respond to his every wish. He even makes the most delicious, crumbly, espresso-infused chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever tasted.
But he cannot — I repeat, he cannot — make a good pot of chili.
“Look upon my works all ye mighty, and despair!”
The ingredients were all there: Wagyu beef, heirloom beans, fresh onions and plenty of herbs and spices, but the end result was by far the absolute worst chili with which I’ve ever had the misfortune of sharing table space, bar none. It tasted like the inside filling of a day old Taco Time burrito — which he, by the way, thought was fabulous. “I love Taco Time!” he said.
Figures.
I’m not sure if it beats my abysmal failure at homemade ravioli as Worst Cooking Blunder of the Past Eight Months, but he’s certainly giving me a run for my money.
Actually, the more I think about it, the more that living with Brian reminds me of this (which makes his failure with a pot of chili a bit of a relief):
“Believe me, he was adorable — just about the most adorable thing you ever did see.”
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Sorry to hear about the chili…
I see what you mean about the BF and that sketch. However, take heart in the fact that you’re much taller than Dudley Moore.
Nathan replies:
Isn’t everyone taller than Dudley Moore?