Duro by Nasomatto

There's an idea among some perfume companies that in order to get men to purchase a bottle of scent, it has to be completely removed from anything even resembling the concept of a pretty, floral perfume -- so they craft fragrances that smell like gasoline, burnt rubber, asphalt (though I pretty much grooved on CdG Tar), cement or dirt, as if to reassure their potential customers of their manliness: "You think perfume is only for girls and gays? Ha! Wear this and you'll come across like good old-fashioned, toil-and-sweat masculinity, yessiree!"

Apparently, Nasomatto figured they may as well cover this poor, misguided consumer segment in their portfolio, too, so they produced their own version of the masculine stink-bomb with Duro.

Duro reeks like a petroleum product -- one that you would use to power a lawn mower or employ as a cleaning solvent. There's not a whiff of pleasantry to it, and if I were to lean in close to someone wearing this, I would immediately recoil. It has a poisonous air about it, and the only reason I could think a man would choose to wear Duro is if he had deep-seated intimacy problems and wanted every human within shouting distance to just back the f**k off.

The Lucky Scent website states that Duro is "elegant yet carnal and very, very sexy," but that's because they have to sell this foul, oakmoss laden brew, and if they were honest about it, they'd never get a bottle out the door.

What they forgot to mention is that it's also laughably overpriced for how awful and cheap it smells.

UPDATE (August 17,2008):

Thinking it would be wise to get a second and third opinion, just in case I might have missed some kind of special magic about Nasomatto Duro, I sent off samples of the stuff to two perfume-friendly (not to mention perfume fanatic) acquaintances, one man and one woman, both of whom enjoy darker, more traditionally masculine scents.

They both disliked it . . . a lot. "Interesting but unwearable," wrote the woman, while her male counterpart responded with "Ewww. Seriously, EWWW. No point in applying deodorant after you put this on." He also stated that it's now one of his top five most hated fragrances.

You are now adequately forewarned.